A country lane at night-time is a wildlife ‘drive-through’. Daytime beings are tucked up, the night shift is out and about and because the vehicle numbers are few and far between… the night shift characters often frequent these road-ways… and meetings occur.
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Owl & Mousey
The car was halted because of an owl on the ground, dead centre of the lane, stood with its back to us.
Lit in full beams, it casually turned to check out the source of disturbance, us, then just smoothly un-twisted its neck (how can they do that?) and resumed its work… that of plucking tufts out of a hapless little rodent, pinned down tight in the grip of one foot.
After a time of spectating a somewhat raw exhibition, the silence in the car broke.
“That’s amazing… just… am’maaaaay’zing.”
Professor Cox, the tv star science chappy dude, wasn’t the passenger, but it sounded just like him.
I quietly shared the opinion… an opinion no doubt, not for one moment, ever shared by mousey.
A few more seconds passed, then big-eyes ummphed itself aloft, taking mousey the munch bar, along for the ride… towards its’ next adventure… a visit to the food chain.
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The Poddling Badger
This encounter occurred whilst driving empty, with plenty of time to pick up a customer. The badger first appeared in the headlights, running along the edge of the tiny, middle-of-nowhere country lane. There was not enough room to over-take considerately, so the car was slowed, way behind, to match its speed.
The thinking here, was that it would disappear into one of the gaps in the bank… perhaps this gateway coming up? No… Oh well, perhaps this farm entrance? No… Well, surely this long lay-by? Surely it will trundle itself into the recess and I would have space to pass? Nope… The badger just continues ahead, now poddling along up the centre of the lane. After a few minutes of this with matey, it was time for plan B.
With this next gap ahead, I’ll close down the distance and pressurise it into escaping the track of the lane…
Results of plan B… not as expected.
Right at the gap, it stops, keels over so its nearside is poised more upward facing, then it judders its head and eyes around as far as they can turn to face the car… all the time growling, snarling and striking out with its nearside front claw. It was an awesome show of ‘fight’… which was a bit of a shame, as just behind it was the ’or flight’ route… ho-hum.
I’d stopped the car, whilst the snarly display was on, but being sensitive to the probability that all its performance was actually the reality of a stress-out, due to a complete backfire of my Plan B, a retreat was offered.
I shut the lights down, and after shouting out the window something about “You got TWO minutes”, I opened the sunroof, buzzed the seat recliner button, turned the engine off… then lay back looking up at the billions of stars that only get revealed when in pitch dark of lonesome natural places.
Gazing up at the millions… I pondered how many similar situations were playing out on planets and moons orbiting the twinkly things up there.
I enjoyed the view for a minute, then updated the badger… wherever it was now…
“You got ONE minute left!”.
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Hedgy McHedgehog
We rounded the corner and there it was, caught clear in the headlights… a McDonald’s McFlurry tub… unusually, one with an active mind of its own… bimbling about in the middle of the lane.
Breaking, brought the car to a halt, with the entity now out of sight, just down below, but still in front of the car.
“See that!?” Exclaimed my customer. “Sort of,” I responded thoughtfully… Pondering the possibility it was my favourite ‘crunchy’ flavour.
Out of the car, a closer inspection revealed the mind element to be that of a little hedgehog. The tubs all have a large hole in the top of the lid-piece and this little chap had stuck his head inside, and then defined the said word… ‘stuck’.
Holding the little critter steady I popped the tub base off.
“Oh, he’s so beautiful!.” My customer exclaimed.
“Greedy little bugger” was my response… alluding to the revelation that it had eaten all the ice cream inside.
This mischief was swiftly thwarted with a surreal gruffed-voiced, fast-worded feminine scolding and a precise side-punch to my arm.
Although the base came off easily, the plastic lid bit was more firmly stuck around the neck. It looked like those ‘radar’ dogs, fresh from the vets. I held it up and swept gently side-to-side, commenting along the lines that I wonder if we could receive a movie… then, after acknowledging the tutting, lowered the little fella, mentioning I’d get the in-car multi-tool gismo-gadget… complete with folding scissors.
With a few simple snips, the delidding procedure was complete and the little critter was moved into the field.
“Wow”, she said. “That was, so worth it”.
“Glad you think so… The meter’s been running”.
… Another side punch thwacked my arm.
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