Many flavours… some good… some not so.
I’ve worked out my rule of thumb… 98% are in the good part of the spectrum, therefore 2% are not.
Yet, even in this 2%, with somewhat unpalatable and irksome subject areas, such as uninvited approaches and drunkenness within the confines of the car… exist rare “golden nugget”… good-flavoured people.
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Two little girls, with a shine for the driver
Both girls hopscotched along the pavement towards the front of the car. Close by, the hopping ceased and they both peered through the windscreen with an intense stare. I figured their view was blocked with reflections and they perhaps couldn’t actually see in, but seconds later, along with their mum, they were in the rear passenger area, but not seated… nope, still stood and I’m aware the presence of breathing, close beside my left ear. Not turning, just glancing to the rearview mirror, confirmed… two inquisitive little people… four pigtails.
”Ello.” I said, still looking forward and prepping the in-car computer.
The girls stayed where they were. 2 cm from my ear.
“You need your seat belts on.” Came a duo of mum and myself.
The four pigtails flew backwards and very much downwards to a typical seated height for a couple of 5-year-olds. Clicking ensued, then, framed in my rearview mirror, was Mum’s head… next to the tops of four pigtails… aligned.
Mum confirmed my question, which checked if the booked destination was correct and that was the only words she could get in, as my next comment, as we set off, was along the lines of:
“Anyone done anything exciting today?”
Whispering immediately erupted from within the back seats… I noticed they were facing each other as the four pigtails looked, now, to be just two.
The whispering stopped, the four pigtails aligned, then, a pair of gentle but enthusiastic voices filled the car with tales of the girl’s day of making pictures… pictures of flowers… sunflowers seemed to fill the car as they described yellow… “lots of lovely yellow”.
I saw the pigtails change from four to two and the voices dropped to whispering again. A mirror glance, to Mum’s now smiling eyes, confirmed a shared pleasant atmosphere… Then the four pigtails aligned… and a pair of voices filled the car with tales, this time of ponies… painted ponies on a field… and on a beach… There may have been other places, but I’d tuned out as I navigated through a five-lane roundabout system.
Safely through, I tuned in again… We were in whisper mode, confirmed visually with two pigtails… After an unusually extended whisper conference… the four pigtails aligned… and voices filled the car again, but the subject had slightly changed… slightly, as in a gulping-sized change.
Me and Mum’s silent, relaxed, inter-mirror communication switched to a still silent, but not so relaxed, visual expression resembling “YIKES!” and we both had an oooh, oooh, moment as we swiftly brokered some sort of verbal, small child-friendly parry and repost.
What they were enquiring about, was a question along the lines of:
“Would you be our dad?”
We managed to morph the subject into a random one of “being cool”… which both girls took to and it wasn’t too long before it was all accepted that… the journey was great fun… the car was cool… Mum was cool… the driver was cool… both girls were cool… sunflowers and ponies were cool… all their pictures were cool.
We arrived and on leaving the car, the girls hopscotched away down the pavement, then paused to look at each other, turned facing back and both lifted their hands up in front of their faces… they were making “sunglasses” with rounded fingers… their new found fun for today… meaning… COOL.
The girls and Mum together… were what I value as “golden nugget” people… and that’s a “cool“ flavour.
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Boozed-up Tommy
Even amongst the flavour of a drunken human, good flavours of character can dominate. I’m not into boozing, but tell this story here, as indeed, some encounters may be problematic… but there have been eye-openers, that perhaps reveal it is more character-related than alcohol-related… any trouble… or not… as in this case with Tommy.
Late in the evening, he lumbered out towards the car. After a second or two, pulling on a front door handle. I tooted the horn… to get his attention, as the car in front was empty… and thankfully locked. As he turned towards me, I noted his expression… one of those ugly but beautiful people, with clear eyes and an amicable expression blazoning from his face.
He reminded me of how Tommy Cooper looked and had also pinched one of his vocal expressions… he was so drunk, that there was little ability for actual words… indeed, it turned out that five syllables would do… for everything.
“Azz zazz zazz zazzz zaz”
This was his confirmation of the area he needed to go to.
“Azzz zaz zzzazz zaazzz zazzzz”
… Would explain anything else.
A few more attempts to check the address were responded to with his same five zazz’s.
On the in-car computer were his address and phone number… auto got from him being a regular, therefore… already held on our database.
My method for customers in this condition… is to keep them talking… responding… to give me a live streaming sense of their condition… and to keep them awake.
As responses from Tommy were poor, though his face was still beaming… I flicked around for another plan.
”You’ll have to show me the way… Point the way… Can you point?”
He raised his arm towards ahead. That was reassuring. That’ll work.
”Point then… Keep pointing.”
His arm came up to horizontal and his finger was as pointy as pointy. That was enough for me. We set off. Each time his arm dropped, I just said “Point!”… and up it came, accompanied by the now familiar series of zazz’s and the beaming face.
Didn’t really need the arm for directions, which was just as well… For the first two roundabouts we needed the third exit, but according to Tommy, his pointing went to the first exit.
It didn’t take much to work out the tilt around the corner was too much to hold his arm from swinging off to the side. As his arm swung, he changed to “zerrrrrr,s”. When I made the correct choice anyway, he would resume the zazz’s…
… and so he was returned home, successfully, to an in-car tune of zerr’s and zazz’s from him… and only needed the occasional “Point!”… from me.
I don’t condone getting sozzled, but I count Tommy as one of my favourite passengers. He’s kind of an ugly guy, but his eyes and a genuine smile are honest and somewhat from the soul. I call these people… “The beautiful people”.
He has the money in his hand when he gets in. He hands it across then holds his shovel-sized hand out flat… meaning no change.
The journey, as described, is calm and pleasant. When I get him home safely, he gives his farewell “azzz azzz azzzazz azzaz aaaazaz”. Up the path to the door, he potters… where a girl awaits… they hug… then both turn and wave.
I lift my arm… and quietly utter “aaaaazzzzzazzz” as I drive away.
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Loads of passengers in the car, comment the lines of:
“Oh it must be annoying dealing with drunkards”… but I’ve determined, any annoyance may not necessarily be the drunkenness… It depends if they are a ‘Tommy’… or simply just a Twat.
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